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Five Things to Do When She Doesn’t Text You Back

When I very first commenced dating, nothing was more arousing than the rush of flirting with a fresh chick over text. It always felt like the commence of something good.

I also recall that nothing was more nerve-racking than waiting for a reply. And waiting. And when she never replied at all — realizing that our connection was potentially dead in the water.

In hindsight, I spent WAY too much time stressing and analyzing my rollercoaster of emotions. I’d check my phone permanently, worry about whether or not I should send another text, and always wonder WHY…why is she not talking to me?

Ten years later, I now know that worrying about it was a waste of time. Unluckily, there were no clear answers then and there are no clear answers now.

So when guys reach out to me asking, “Why didn’t she text back?” I can only make educated guesses about a woman’s motivations. There are innumerable reasons a damsel goes MIA.

The point is, my advice will always be to…

Stop dwelling on the fact that she hasn’t responded. Instead, concentrate on a plan of activity to get the conversation going again.

To give you the best shot, I created a plain framework to go after next time you don’t hear back from a doll you like.

1. Give her a day to reply before you send another text

Assume that your message was delivered successfully. Unless your phone says otherwise, it’s almost assured that she received it.

Maybe she just hasn’t seen it yet. Maybe she did but she’s busy with work, probe, or something else in the real world. Maybe she is waiting to react because it’s not her top priority in the moment. Maybe she’s playing coy. Or maybe she just became bored of the conversation.

Regardless of the reason, hitting her up again within twenty four hours almost never yields good results.

When a woman is talking to a fresh fellow, she’s cautious about the situation. She wants to make sure you’re not too intense, needy, or overly invested.

If she didn’t see the message and you ping her again, it feels like you’re desperate for a response.

If she did see the message and is waiting or choosing not to react, your follow-up often reinforces that she shouldn’t reply. It feels overbearing and like you’ve got nothing better to do.

I’m not telling to pretend like you’re cool and aloof. Rather, I want you to put yourself in the boots of a certain man with options who’s not seeking approval. He might think, “that sucks” when he doesn’t get a reply…but then he’s going to concentrate on something else. He’s going to be productive, suspend out with friends, do something joy for himself, and talk to other women.

He’s not sitting at home torturous over the response time of a dame he hardly knows.

Two. But don’t wait more than 2-3 days to text again

That said, a lot of guys go the opposite of intense messaging and instead distance themselves totally. They determine not to message for numerous days, weeks, or ever again — even if this was the very first time she went cold.

One reason guys do this is to avoid appearing needy and desperate. But as I’ve said before, neediness comes down to your mindset. If you genuinely want to connect with this woman and are pulling away to manipulate her approval of you — you’re being needy.

Another reason is that guys feel they put enough in effort and now it’s the girl’s turn to react. I wish the world worked like that. Some women will reinitiate contact but many more, even ones that are interested, won’t. If this is just the very first time she’s stopped responding, there’s no point in playing the waiting game and potentially missing your window of chance.

Hit her up within a few days and go after the ideas below for your message.

Three. Don’t ask if she got your last text or talk about the same thing

I know you might feel lost when reinitiating with a chick who went quiet. Your natural inclination may be to dual check if she received your message or repeat the same topic.

For example, perhaps she went silent after you asked her what she’s doing on Thursday. You write something like…

“I guess sitting at home and not talking to anyone then =P” [Making joy of her not answering]

“So what did you end up doing Thursday?” [Asking her after the fact]

“Not sure if you got my last message but I was wondering what your plans were for Thursday?” [Dual checking]

These uncommonly ever work. Even when you think you’re being sarcastic about her lack of reply, you’re coming off as passive-aggressive and bitter.

This dame stopped responding after your last message FOR A REASON. Pushing her to reply to that specific idea or checking on her like you’re her dad isn’t titillating. It also makes it feel like you’re strung up up on why she didn’t react.

Four. Don’t instantly invite her out again

You also don’t want to invite her out as your very first message back to her. This is especially true if your previous unanswered text was about attempting to setup plans.

She may have not been convenient enough or excited enough yet to commit to a date. You pushing again without addressing those feelings (through positive emotion, see below) will often yield another silent response or no commitment.

It’s better to commence with a more casual and engaging message, have a few texts back and forward, and then invite her out when she’s voicing positive emotions. Because if she went radio silent after your very first invitation, you have to make the 2nd one count.

Women can feel awkward about telling a stud off twice. They know you’re very likely feeling rejected and frustrated which makes them feel awkward. In turn, they can pull back to avoid confrontation or woo themselves it wasn’t meant to be. Then they go back to disregarding you or tell you sorry, but they’re not interested.

So why gargle your chances by rushing it? Sending a duo more playful messages will shift the vibe and make her feel more secure about your connection. Here’s how you should be getting back into conversation:

Five. Get the positive emotions flowing and THEN invite her out

As I said earlier, women stop responding for many reasons. But it usually comes down to that they’re not excited, invested, or convenient enough to meet up with you (basically a stranger) yet.

A lot of guys think the remedy is to talk about commonalities and get to know each other on a deeper level. But women don’t want that over text — it’s a horrible means for communication. She can do that on a date with you.

All she indeed needs is to FEEL that it’s going to be a joy, awesome practice meeting up with you.

If you just embark up the conversation with something bland, logical, or devoid of emotion — it’s not likely to go anywhere. This is why messages like, “Hey, how’ve you been?”, “So did you do well on the test?” fall plane. They don’t encourage her to open up and feel something more.

You want her to practice positive emotions such as enthusiasm, curiosity, playfulness, passion, and get her laughing her bum off when she reads your texts. There are uncountable ways to do this:

• Use more descriptive or emotional language even when talking about normal things. Make everyday conversation more intriguing. Use words that paint a picture or evoke powerful responses.
  • “Btw, the fresh X album blew my mind, I think I just had an audiogasm.” vs “Btw, that fresh X album is good.”
  • “I just shook my bootie like Shakira at salsa. Getting into anything arousing yourself?” vs “I just got back from salsa class. What are you doing tonight?”
  • Add a funny GIF using iMessage/Whatsapp to enhance your message. So for example on the salsa message, you could then include a GIF of a cat jiggling its figure awkwardly.
• Share something interesting about yourself. This could be a situation that happened to you, an escapade you had, or an idea/subject you’re sultry about.
  • Send a photo of you hiking at a beautiful lake, at a concert, or in your fresh suit. You can fasten a quick note to it like, “I’m coming for you Daniel Craig.”
  • “I just spent the last fifteen minutes wondering what my dog was attempting to tell me. I can’t be the only one, right?”
  • “Yeaaaah, ultimately got my SCUBA certification. Feel free to picture me in my wetsuit.”
• Ask a relevant question to her life, something you’re genuinely nosey about, or just something random/bimbo. When someone asks a excellent question about a topic we’re sultry about, we love to talk about it. And joy or thought-provoking questions surprise and excite us to proceed the dynamic conversation.
  • “So what inspired your bohemian-chic style? A memorable excursion?”
  • “You said you love to sketch — can you draw me like one of your French ladies?”
  • “What’s your most worthless superhero power?”

If you haven’t noticed, there’s a theme here. All these messages are concise (1-2 sentences max), lighthearted, and often contain a joke.

Humor is the quickest way to re-engage a lady and get her hooked every time she reads your messages. And if she feels fine talking with you over text, she won’t be able to wait to meet up with you in-person.

Don’t wait long to make your budge tho’. O nce she’s responding back a duo times positively, strike when the metal is hot and invite her out.

These five steps will give you the best chance of bringing back a dead conversation. But if you’ve attempted all the above more than once and she still hasn’t responded — it’s time to concentrate on someone else whose more excited to connect with you.

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